By Linda Matwaya
In recent years we have seen how sugar daddy stories have evolved to what is now called ‘AmaBlesser’ which is a ghetto lingual meaning the same thing. Lately in the past years there have been a trend of this immoral and anti-social behaviour where old financially buoyant male figures get romantically involved with young girls in return for sexual favours.
There are many reasons why we have seen the girl child resorting to date older men in order to be taken care of. One of the major reason why we see this whole ‘amablesser’ being a pandemic is due to school dropout.
The issue of young people dropping out of school is a national concern because one of the factors that lead young people to drop out of school is dating blessers. Blesser /blesse relationships whilst at school affects both the mental and physical wellbeing of most young people.
How can ‘amablesser’ relationships lead to one dropping out of school? Dating ‘amablesser’ whilst in school is usually linked to poor academic performance. One may lag behind in academics. It seems that most young people in amablesser relationships may start to have low commitment and lack of effort towards school this is usually as a result of the fact that the person may feel like he/she may have reached his/her full potential because most of his/her individual needs will be provided for by the blesser, this usually leads to school dropout.
A greater percentage of girls who date blessers are usually forced to dropout from school due to unwanted pregnancies, in some situations the ‘amablesser’ may marry the girl into being a second or third wife or the girl may start to cohabit with the blesser .The girl is often too young to comprehend what is happening and she may agree to live with him so as to avoid the stress of dealing with the pregnancy alone thus the lady may end up dropping out of school.
Madhuku (2005) teens experiment and find themselves in situations they cannot handle. The Zimbabwean school policy allows the affected pupils by early teen pregnancies to re-join school after giving birth but a few people usually continue with their studies. Most of these ‘amablesser’ relationships always end in premium tears because not only can you end up with an unwanted pregnancy and dropping out of school but also with sexually transmitted diseases. Some of these ladies involved in these anti-social relationships can testify that they may suffer physical, mental and sexual abuse. It is not all chocolate and roses when it comes to these relationships. Out of societal pressures most young ladies end up dining with the devils.
These relationships are not always a stroll in the park. Most ladies enter into these situations because of peer pressure, social media pressure and some well they justify them by saying how bad the economy is. ‘Amablesser’ relationships are not in any way justifiable. Because one party is enjoying whilst the family of the blesser especially the wife is also left suffering. Most of the time these ‘amablesser’ are not even satisfied with one person, it ends up as a cycle.
Young ladies have to learn to fend for themselves and find other ways of working with their own hands other than indulging in these anti-social relationships. They can be conceal but these relationships never end well for many.