The untold story of a depressed mind

By: Angel

African American woman is sitting and contemplating something

It’s no wonder the suicide rate is so high. While I do not condone taking ones own life it’s easy to see the process before act. The mind can be a beautiful space filled with creativity and innovation. But it can also be a deep dark hole where ones forever falling.

For the blessed and less stressed it’s a concept hard to grasp. But imagine a large dark room with no visible furniture. Imagine it vividly half filled with neck high water, water being sorrow and hardships. Now hope comes in the form of a light. A light emanating from a distant door words of encouragement are the piece of wood you happened on whilst wading in the water. You swim towards the light thinking that’s not too far I can make it.. but it seems the harder you swim the farther your ray of light is.

Man looking out the window

You try different strokes different styles even conjure up a paddle, these are the product of the different advice and recommendations prescribed by people. No sooner than you get hold of the handle the undercurrent sweeps you farther than you started. Deeper into the dark void that now is your reality. This time the water temperature drops and you slip a little deeper into the water. In a panic you desperately try to execute the methods that worked before but it’s harder and harder to get the same efficiency. You feel like you’re in Purgatory choosing between going back and advancing towards the afterlife. All you know or see is darkness all you see is what you’re not doing right. Amplified by people’s comments and comparisons.

If you’ve ever run a 10 mile race then stop and be asked to run an extra 400m you’ll understand that what seems simple is an arduous task. You’re desperate for anyone to see your calamity anyone to understand your plight. But in a room that dark even if there was life other than you you can’t see it the darkness won’t let you.. you soldier on till you reach the door. The door decides your fate. To some it opens easy, to others someone opens it for them and let’s them out.. to the unfortunate few advancing past purgatory is the only way out they see.

Before we judge people from the comfort of the well lit room on the other side of the door. Let’s try open to see if they aren’t in dark cold room slowly drowning in sorrow. I’d like to think of the door k as the face the never ending smile. It doesn’t matter how beautiful the door looks but what’s important is opening to see what lies inside.