By Chiedza Nyamudzanaka
I know it sucks. You are thinking you aren’t good enough, you are thinking you were going to spent the rest of your life with your ex, I know you are even talking about that right, I bet the romance was good too, and right now someone is getting what you were getting. I get it, I have been there, it cuts like a knife, but through some hard choices I learn to change the game in my own favour. I have lessened the pain and speed my recovery through doing the things that I will mention as you read through significantly.
The most important thing is you need to give yourself space. This is done so as to relieve tensions and the intensity of the breakup. Giving yourself space means that you have to go for at least 2 or 3 months without a text, calls, emails and absolutely no stalking their social media. It is difficult but trust me if you don’t do this you are only hardening your life and deepening your emotional wounds and also complicating your recovery.
You have to accept that you were not meant for each other. If you were meant for each other, you should be together as we are talking. Stop idealizing your ex. This is a natural reaction after a breakup. don’t just cry thinking about the good times you had together but also remember the times that person made you cry, the times you have had sleepless nights thinking of how he has hurt you. This may sound funny and childish, but I encourage you to write a list of things that your ex has done and why you didn’t like it so that each time you start idealizing about your ex, you read through the list and remind yourself that you deserve something better and you were not meant for each other.
Thirdly, don’t keep anything that reminds you about your ex. I mean delete his texts, all photos and the contacts. To some extent you can block him. Burn anything in your house that was bought by him, for example the clothes, necklaces and framed photos. You can even return these things soon after the breakup. Also remove the songs from the playlist that remind you of your ex.
Understand that you will meet someone better and fall in love again. Yes some breakups are there to teach and remind you that you will meet someone who will make you happy and believe that you will be happy in the next relationship. But you have to get out there, improve yourself now in this period of space and become the best version of you. But never fall in love to get rid of your ex, trust me it will not work. Get rid of your ex first, then you fall in love and trust me, you will never be disappointed.
I understand it’s not that easy, you ex is in your head, you loved him so much and you split meaning you weren’t for all of this and to add an insult he’s even sleeping with someone else and to some extent it could be your friend, so I get it and its ion your mind constantly. So if you try to follow what I have mentioned above your little ship will be steady and set you back on the road again.